14 Mar 2009
How to spot a student a mile off
I'm in my third year of college. I do 18 hours a week there and then have a part time job where I work a further 24 hours a week. When I'm not drunk or doing college work I pretty much do nothing. I think I've earned it though! I've learned to master working lates, staying out till 7 in the morning and then heading to work for 9am with only a hour of sleep under my head. It took a lot of practice and plenty of tic tacs but I'm good now.
Most of my friends left school and went straight into full time work, now with the dredded "R", they're unemployed and when they look at me , usually in my doing nothing period, they say you're such a fucking student. And then I thought, what is a typical student?Do they have certain characteristics?A look? Are they the ones always in the George before ten? Well ...yeah but they're so much more.
Students always have a look of confusion on them. it can refer to many things, college course work, essays but also where they slept last night. Why they are naked and who exactly that is next to them smoking .
Students always have the latest gear from Penny's straight out of the sweat shop. Yeah the shoes are pretty and yeah they only cost four euro, but did you need to buy them in every colour?
A stamp from a club. A big fat red logo plastered on the back of their hand. I've done it, I'm sure you have too.
Knowledge of local pubs and clubs. Okay so you can't name the twelve Apostles, you don't know who the Prime Minister of Britain is and you don't know where Mali is. But can your lecturer name ten pubs in Drumcondra? ...Thought not. Case closed.
Aldi bags. Not a chance you'd see "proper students" in Marks & Spencers or Superquinn. Why spend money on food, when that same money can be drank four nights a week.
And lastly, student discount cards. Okay so the name alone kinda gives them away. But when you're buying a pen, what could sweeten the deal more than getting 10% off . Topshop do it, HMV and Reids. You may have every card for discounts, but will you pay the right fare on Bus Eireann?...are you mad?
We students may seem like wasters now, but when you're old and drooling we'll be picking out the patterns for your nursing home so be nice to us! We're the only generation with the ability to stay awake 48hours straight, complete essays five minutes before submission time and crawl into bed, any bed.