12 Jan 2010
Piss, Popes and Puffs
What do golden showers, the Pope and gay marriage have in common? Nothing really, bar the fact that I just wanted to grab your attention. It’s not that Benny16 Pope may not have a yellow kerchief discreetly tucked in the right pocket of his cassock. He might even enjoy a bit of yellow. However, today I wanted to talk about gay marriage.
Sweden has it. Norway has it. Canada has it. Even Nepal will debate it in 2010. So why not Portugal? After all, Spain’s had it for years and the Portuguese must be sick of always being one step behind their erstwhile “rulers”. There does just seem to be an unnatural rush on to get this all done and dusted and a pair of queers up the aisle before April.
At first glance, the odds seem to be stacked against Portugal. Firstly, it’s still a very conservative society where, outside of the two big cities, the homosexual lifestyle is completely alien.
Tiago, an actor friend in Lisbon mentioned that internet forums in the country were full of vitriolic bile directed at Portugal’s PM for his role in rushing this legislation through and at Portugal’s very few out homosexual celebrities.
Parked in the middle of the country is the biggest religious theme park in the world with its hundreds of squared metres of Marian merchandising:
Fatima. That’s a huge burden to carry. And remember, there is that third secret yet to be revealed. And yes. The Pope is coming to Portugal in April. Is there something he knows that we don’t? Whatever the case, you can see why
Mr Socrates, the Portuguese PM, and parliament really have their work cut out.
The next stop for the legislation is the Portuguese President’s desk.
Aníbal Cavaco Silva is a conservative and according to my two dear Portuguese lawyer friends Rui and Dina, could decide to veto the legislation for any number of reasons. In order not to fall foul of gays, he could for example, reject it on the grounds that the legislation is discriminatory, given that it forbids same-sex adoptions. Nevertheless,
Rui feels that
Mr Cavaco wouldn’t dare face the political fallout of a veto, and perhaps Portugal is not as conservative as she appears.
My friend
Dina, who in spite of being gay is an active member of the most conservative political parties in Portugal informed me that while all twenty-one members of his party voted against the new legislation, three members only did so to follow the party whip. There does seem to be light at the end of the tunnel. In other words, Portugal is not as black and white as it may appear. Yellow, however it is not, unlike
SWITZERLAND.
You see, hot off the press is this year’s Swiss Eurovision entry which for some of you will feel just like a good old-fashioned golden shower; pleasant enough for its three minute duration but no sooner have you the golden notes dried up than it all starts to reek a little. The intriguing title is
Il pleut d'or/It's raining gold and it will be performed by a gold-lamé clad chap called Michael Van Der Heide.
Watch the video here: