24 Jun 2010
BIG BROTHER'S LITTLE BITCH: DAY 16
(Strangely-sexy-yet-supremely-unstable)
Shabby has been Noirín-ed by Dublin’s very own toothsome siren, ‘Keeva’ (who is
pictured in the scene section of last month’s GCN by the way!) Chas can see why
poor Shabby is confused: if it looks like a lesbian and acts like a lesbian,
common rationale suggests that chances are, it’s a lesbian.
But alas, Keevs is not
the lesbian for our thespian (she's a fauxmosexual), but given enough time, and Tesco Cider, she might
be persuaded to go ‘gay-for-the-stay’. Chas prays she goes gay for the stay cos poor Shabby is so sexually frustrated she looks like she might gnaw her arms off at any moment.
Poor Ben - dissed by
Joan Collins but embraced by Gloria Hunniford at a cocktail party or something.
Message to Ben: if Hunniford ever calls you after the show, it’ll be cos she’s
looking for a legal, yet EXCRUCIATINGLY dull, form of Euthanasia. Namely, your
voice.
On the
Malevolent Monk front: "Intoxicated on the love of 'our Lord'"!?
Intoxicated on your own sense of self-righteousness more like, you smug
assface. Gay people are fine – “Hey, no judgements friend!” – but gays
expressing a loving commitment in the form of a marriage is “against scripture”. As are tattoos, body piercings, dying your hair and like, virtually
else everything you, and everyone else in the world, enjoys.
Sunshine
has revealed herself to be a terrifyingly passive aggressive little creature –
all snarling petulance and faux-earnestness. When John James pointed out to her
that she couldn’t sing (the bitch can’t even say her name without changing
keys!) she flipped.
Chas
says: Just because you have the unfortunately mangled face of Gaga, doesn’t
mean you the voice of Gaga.