29 Sep 2009
CHASTITY'S APPRENTICE BLOG: WEEK 2
TV3’s The
Apprentice is back! Well it’s been back a week, but Chas didn’t bother to blog
last week as it was a mostly forgettable debut – notable only for Chas’ new
favourite reality TV wannabe: Sam (more on her later!)
Here’s a
run down of the most amusing contestants (though for the most part they’re the
exact same inanely dull Dublin Business School rejects as last year):
Mr Meat-Head (Stephen Higgins): Now, when
Chas see a man with massive muscles she thinks “What’s he trying to compensate
for?” but when Chas sees a red-head with massive muscles, she knows immediately
what he’s trying to compensate for. Also, a pseudo-D4 accent on a guy from
Tuam? You’re fooling no-one mate.
Mr Preposterous (Setanta Landers): Setanta
Landers? Preposterous name. Claims his father is a Vietnam Vet (in Killarney?!)
Preposterous back story. His ruddy cheeks, lazy lids and occasional (not to
mention hi-larious) eye-twitch combine to make him look like an early Westlife
reject. Utterly Preposterous!

Ms
‘Glass-Ye-As-Soon-as-Look-at-Ye’ (Geraldine O Callaghan): Yeah, she more working-class than a
packet of processed cheese, but she has that firey inner-city spunk that Bill
pretends to relate to, so she could be a contender. And if she doesn’t run away
with the competition, she’ll probably run away with Jackie’s handbag and the
gang’s Lotto money. She also wins
Chas’s vote for best line of the series so far “Daddy can’t buy you cop on in
Trinity College”. He sure can’t, Sweetie.
Mr Muck-Savage (Breffny Morgan) A Harvard
(Harvard!) graduate from Cork. Daddy may not be able to buy you cop-on in
Trinners but he sure can get you a BA in Biology in Frasier’s alma mater! All
of which is academic frankly, since he looks like the sort of bloke who could
be a junior Referee at the Munster Ploughing Championships. Just saying.
Ms Jingle (Sam Conroy): Without a
doubt, Chas’ favourite contestant so far, but with far too much eh,
personality to last beyond the opening stages. In her Bio, it says that she
works “a 60 hour week, despite only being required to do 25”. Her main passion
though, is channelling Mr G. from Summer Heights High. Tsunam-arama!
Chas says:
Let the over-reliance on meaningless marketing jargon and pin-striped suits
commence!
The
Apprentice is on TV3 on Mondays @ 9pm