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Action For Equality
Since the decriminalisation of homosexuality in 1993 there hasn't been a more important time in the history of gay rights in this country. So, how can you as an ordinary member of your community help ensure legislation for our equal partnership rights? Simple, says Ross Golden-Bannon, just pay your local TD a visit. And while you're at it, get your straight friends to do the same.
People's minds are changed through observation and not through argument. That's why MarriagEquality's campaign 'You're not out till you're out to your TD' has the potential to really work. There's nothing like a real, live queer standing in a TD's office to focus their minds.
If you're nervous about visiting your TD don't forget that you pay for them, that they're your elected official. You'll probably have the upper hand too as many of them lack the language of our culture, so don't be surprised if they call you a homosexual. In fact I think most of them need some gay friends. Prepare the answers to the tough question before you go (see the panels in this article) and while you're at it, have some tough questions of your own ready.
It took several emails and phone calls to get to meet any of my TDs and I suspect if I was complaining about a broken pedestrian crossing I'd have got a quicker response. My first Fianna Fail TD was Sean Ardagh and although he was a complete gentleman, he didn't agree with full marriage equality. I asked if he'd bring the points I raised to his parliamentary colleagues and he said he would.
This is an important part of the political process as each party has parliamentary meetings in Leinster House. This is where they discuss the issues coming up for them in their constituency offices as well as wider issues. We need to get on this agenda instead of just on the ministers.
Michael Mulcahy is my other Fianna Fail TD and he was a little more sinister. He called me on the mobile in response to my email and with the tone of an annoyed schoolmaster speaking to a stupid boy he pointed out that he agreed with equal rights but not equal marriage and that he was absolutely opposed to same-sex adoption. I pointed out that there were already children of same sex relationships, including relatives of mine, but he wouldn't respond to the point over the phone. He demanded a further written question on the matter. I duly sent him another email about children of same sex relationships but I have not had a reply yet.
Myth Busting
The issue of children and gay people is a subject that our opponents use to twist and exploit people's prejudices. Firstly, there's no evidence to support the view that children of same sex couples are psychologically or socially different in any way. Neither is there any evidence that they'll grow up gay. In fact if this myth were true, why didn't I grow up straight, surrounded as I was by straight brothers, straight parents and straight neighbours and straight school mates?
There's a long list of professional bodies who have no issue with same sex parents including the British Royal College of Psychiatrists, The American Academy of Paediatrics and the Australian Psychological Society.
But the real elephant in the living room is the unspoken link that many people have in their heads between paedophilia and homosexuality. Our opponents are surreptitiously exploiting this as we're so afraid to discuss it ourselves. We need to be vigilant especially as it is so often just hinted at rather than openly stated.
Homosexuality and paedophilia are mutually exclusive; they are not one and the same sexuality. In reality it is men who identify with a heterosexual lifestyle (often as a cover) who are in the overwhelming majority of paedophiles. In fact most child molesters do not have a developed adult sexual orientation. So even though they may have children of their own, we must resist the temptation to describe them as heterosexual. The reality is that they are neither homosexual nor heterosexual.
Some TDs claim more lofty challenges to equal marriage like the idea that gay civil marriage will undermine the traditional family. None of the Fianna Fail TDs were able to explain to me exactly how that will pan out.
What's going to happen if a happily married gay couple move in next door to a happily married straight couple? Will we have neater trimmed hedges? Perhaps we'll sweep the board at the Parish Centre flower arranging show, or worse our Michelin standard dinner parties will inhibit traditional home cooking. Meanwhile, lesbian couples will be digging tunnels under straight couples' homes physically undermining the very foundations of the institution of marriage. I don't think so.
The Dummies Guide to Democracy
The democratic process is a lot simpler than you think. The more people who turn up at a TD's office, the more likely a subject gains political force. Better still, the more people from outside the interest group who turn up, the more seriously the TD is going to take it.
The film industry ran one of the most successful campaigns in the country that eventually forced the government into a u-turn. They lobbied to have Section 481 on tax relief for the film industry retained.
It wasn't just their lobbying that brought about change; it was the thousands of letters from their friends who lobbied for them that did it. Their campaign went beyond the industry itself and suddenly they'd generated concern from friends, from brothers and sisters, from parents and sons and daughters. You can't paste and copy a reply to so many different voices; you have to start to listen. Suddenly legislators realised the issue reached out to a wider electorate than just the industry.
As long as we lobby on our own we are a single voice, we need other voices to join us and ask: Why isn't my friend equal?
It's that simple. Either we're equal or were not. A civil union bill instead of civil marriage will mean we're not.
People who genuinely believe in equality will search for solutions to the barriers. Those who don't believe in our equality are looking for barriers. This can be upsetting to us as the issue is so personal but it's just another issue amongst many to your TD. However, it's your very physical presence in your TD's office that could make the difference.
Do The Math
If notions of equality and justice don't inspire your TD to action, some simple democratic arithmetic will. They make decisions on what issues are important on the volume of visits they get because these translate into votes. My Fianna Fail TD Michael Mulcahy was not predicted to win the last election and had a bumpy ride. He was only 1,452 votes ahead of Mary Upton and with an electorate of 122,168 he has a potential gay vote of over 12,000, which includes the famous gaybourhood of apartments and houses from Christchurch down to the South Circular Road. If he was brave enough to take a stand on equality and if even only a third of the gay vote turned out his seat would be secure. Wouldn't it be tragic if all those pink votes turned against him in the next election?
Are we our own worst enemy?
Divide and conquer is the hope of any opponent, so the growing divisions between those who believe we should accept whatever the government gives us and those who feel we should hold out for full equality could have a catastrophic impact. There are even those who entirely reject the concept of marriage itself saying that gay people should make their own individual legal arrangements instead of aping a heterosexual institution.
At first sight all these views seem incompatible but in reality they can be united under one voice with one message - equality. After all you didn't have to be black to support the anti-apartheid movement.
If I was asking my boss for a raise, the clever thing to do is ask for more than I want in the knowledge that you'll be bargained down to something closer to your expectations. So even if you'd be happy with a simple civil union, tactically you should be campaigning for full equality. Either way you won't be disappointed.
If you don't support marriage at all, full equality still gives you the right to opt out but as it stands now you still have your options but those who believe in marriage equality don't.
In a recent interview Edmund White explained that he didn't believe in marriage, that his relationships were more evolved than that. However, that didn't mean he wasn't fully supportive of full equal marriage rights for those who want it.
Even if the differing views in the community cannot be united we need to find a common voice when engaging with government and the public. Our divisions will paralyse us and condemn another generation to inequality. Lets get talking.
Either we're equal or we're not
Don't rely on others to take action. It's the combination of your small act with many others that will make the difference. Visit the TDs you know are supportive first. They can be your dummy run, but don't forget to clarify with them that its equal marriage we want not an apartheid civil union. Then make sure to visit the government TDs they'll be the ones talking to ministers. Once you've done that get your friends and family to do the same. The reality is that without them we are lost.
Visit www.marriagequality.ie to download an easy-to-use TD Action Pack, to help get started on talking to your local TD about equal gay rights
MYTH BUSTERS!
Same-sex couples make bad parents
There are along list of professional bodies who don't agree with this. Why not list them for your TD?
American Academy of Paediatrics
American Psychological Association
Australian Psychological Society
Canadian Psychological Association
The Royal College of Psychiatrists (UK)
National Association of Social Workers (USA)
American Psychiatric Association
The Constitution won't let us
* Nobody said we couldn't have peace in N Ireland because of the constitution.
* All laws are open to constitutional challenge so why not choose the easy one and amend the Civil Marriage Act.
* If you believe in full equality the Constitution isn't a barrier.
Gay marriage will undermine the heterosexual institution of marriage
* Ask your TD to explain exactly how that is going to work. They'll be stumped.
* Catholic Spain has introduced full equality and straight marriage hasn't grinded to a halt.
* More married couples leads to a more stable society, especially for the children of those marriages.
WHAT MY TDs SAID
Sean Ardagh TD, Fianna Fáil
5/10 - Pleasant, gentlemanly and supportive of most gay rights, but stops short of full equality in gay marriage. Will bring all views to party meetings at the D‡il.
Catherine Byrne TD, Fine Gael
5/ 10 - Very positive and friendly and supportive of the party's policy though this falls short of full equality. Believes the issue is open to debate in the party and will bring all views to party meetings at the Dail
Mary Upton TD, Labour
8/10 - Supportive of equal rights but unsure if this will go as far as full marriage equality. Says she's open to debate and will bring all views to party meetings at the D‡il.
Aengus í Snodaigh TD, Sinn Fein
10/10 - Fully supportive of marriage equality and gave me top tips on dealing with other TDs too.
Michael Mulcahy TD, Fianna Fáil
3 /10 - Aloof and a bit rude. I think he needs a hug from a gay man. Supportive of most gay rights but stops short of full equality in gay marriage or same sex adoption.
ACTION LIST!
* Get to know the answers to the stupid questions
* Visit your TD
* Don't just email them, they'll send you a stock reply
* Hound them and create a dialogue, especially the government parties of Fianna F‡il and The Greens
* Visit you TD again, they're relying on you accepting their fobbed off letter
* Ask them if they'll bring the issue up at the next meeting of their party in Leinster House
* Get your straight friends and family to visit too
* Visit the marriage equality website www.marriagequality.ie
