23 Sep 2008
ALL THE CELEBRITY MUCK FIT TO RAKE! SEPT 23
Like a car battery to the genitals, last night TV3's The Apprentice shocked Chas out of her Big Brother induced coma and revived her love of all things (sort of) Reality.
The contestants are the usual bunch of scarily confident, management-lingo spounting Alphas, forever using blue-sky thinking and analogies about glass ceilings to forcefully illustrate their points.
In the role of Trump/ Suges, is Bill Cullen. Never heard of him? Chas neither, but aparently he is a Moore Street fruit-seller turned multimillionaire. Also on the board is a stern-faced blonde D4 type, whose nasal voice already makes Chas want to high-kick the plasma screen.
On to the contestants. Where to start? A modest amount of confidence is undoubtably an attractive feature, likely to ensure success in any endevour. Over-confidence however, is likely to ensure a life of getting punched in the face and ending up on Reality TV waaay out of your depth. Guess which catagory most of these guys fit into?
Last night's task was to sell fruit from a stall in Moore Street (way to stick with what you know Bill). Not so easy considering a) it was lashing rain b) they were charging the inflationtastic price of 1 euro a bannana and c) most of them couldn't sell crack to Amy Winehouse, let alone an extortionately priced bannana to the savvy grandmas of Moore Street.
Anyway, the men, led by a crumpled, sweaty looking Dublin fella, failed to beat the ladies and one of them - a nerdy, nervous looking guy was evicted. Or FIRED, if you prefer.
A terrifying harpy of a woman, Chas can't recall her name, was leader of the ladies. She was all A-Line pants suits and assertiveness and a attitude that just screams "I DIDN'T SACRIFICE HAVING CHILDREN FOR SECOND PLACE!"
Chas says: Business is all very well and good ladies, but how's it supposed to land you a husband? Hmmm?
