06 May 2009
Eurovision 2009 Top 5s - ex Yugoslavia
Good morning campers. For try as you may, if you are a Eurovision fan, you are camper than Butlins. Having said that, I did notice a lot of very sexy Euro-bears at the recent Spanish "send-off" party whom I must make it my business to meet at some point.
Today, I'm focusing on that country that morphed into six. The ex-Yugoslavia. The last time Yugoslavia graced the stage as a Federal Socialist republic was in 1991 and I recently discovered that year's pre-selection programme Jugovizija 91 in YouTube. Six nations thrown together and hating each other openly. Blatant competition amongst jury members for who had the highest hair, biggest shoulderpads and dangliest earrings! It was better than Dynasty
Talking about this region is never easy. Are the Serbs in Bosnia, Serbian Bosnians or Bosnian Serbs? Did Serbia and Montenegro separate due to a fisticuffs at their Eurovision selection programme in 2006? Is Slovenia cursed never to come higher than seventh in Eurovision? Why won't Marija Serifovic (Eurovision 2007 winner) just say what even the dogs on the streets know?
1. SERBIA - Cipela - Marko Kon
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4hHQdRfew1s
Famed for their fight to the death attitude but also for writing achingly beautiful ballads, the Serbs were somehow tricked into sending this song to Eurovision. So far nobody has died. The song is called Shoe in English and tells the story of a man whose shoe leaves him to travel around the world. The performer Marko is a portly man in a silvery gray frock coat and with a blond afro with noticeably consistent black roots. Not a very inspiring description I must say, even for the fetishists among you. However, as soon as Marko opens his mouth, you sit up and listen. His backing singers work well with him and the musical arrangment is very agreeable. By the end of the song, you realise you´ve really enjoyed it, even if its not Eurovision in its "purest" form.
2. BOSNIA - Bistra Voda - Regina
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0IOnJqd_HBo
So many things have been done to Bosnia and time can only tell if they will be repeated. In the meantime, since 2005 the Bosnians have been taking Eurovision very seriously. With all the stealth of a Muslim fighter-sniper and without us realising it, they've been creeping into the upper reaches of the Eurovision scoreboard and with some very original songs. Last year, Laka and his knitting turbo-brides amused or bemused us with a catchy song which made it to the top 10. This year, the Bosnians are sending a melancholic balkan-style military march. Strong imagery, a sincere performance by the group Regina and a little help from our friends will help this song along nicely. Unlikely to be dislodged from the top 10. I´m not sure if this is a winner but Sarajevo would be a lovely place to hold Eurovision.
3. CROATIA - Lijepa Tena - Igor Cukrov
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0R7u7GRiZAA
The Croats have tried a bit of everything. In 1994 they sang Don't ever cry, my Croatian sky and by 1999 they had added lots of extra voices to their backing track (leading to them subsequently having 100 points docked from their respectable fourth place score). In recent years they have gone slightly adrift. Severina's camel foot in 2006 being the cherry on the pie. This year, they have opted for a very traditional balkan-sounding song which is dangerously catchy. The only problem (and let's say its a HUGE one) is that the singer Igor Cukrov seems to have a problem singing the notes he is supposed to sing. Or even the octave. He is a graduate of the recent pan-yugoslav "Operation Triumph" and regardless of whether he squeaks like a squirrel on stage, he will have points from all the neighbours. We love our neighbours.
4. MONTENEGRO - Just get out of my life - Andrea Demirovic
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NSCLYBKxWjU&feature=related
For a spot of old wedding dancing, this song is ideal. Or maybe a bit of drunk pawing in the George. That is all I am going to say. How the mighty have fallen. Ralph Siegel composed the Eurovision evergreen A little peace in 1981. In 2009 its the turn of Just get out of my life. Andrea pleadingly sings "just get out of my, out of my, out of my head. Just get out of my, out of my, out of my bed". It may be the story our our lives. In fact, this may be the gayest song this year. The video certainly is. This song makes my Top 5 because there are only 6 countries in the ex-Yugoslavia and the remaining two are absolute cack.
5. FYR MACEDONA - Nesto sto ke ostane - Next Time
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zkwt-h9a3-Y
The country that seems to have good neighbours in the semi-final and gets into the final by the skin of its teeth and is then completely abandoned by them in the final. FYROM has really pulled out all the stops this year to find one of the most instantly forgettable and repugnant songs. Their Eurovision pre-selection was so heineous that this song actually sounded good. Poor FYROM. But it is not as vomit inducing as Slovenia.
Slovenia - shame on you. Really.